* There is the misconception that the only acceptable date is to wine 'em and dine 'em at the Ritz, and while it is true that there are people who feel that way, your financial situation will weed out these gold-diggers--with whom you most likely wouldn't be happy anyway.
* Often the dates that bankrupt you are such big events that the focus is on the event; the small date, on the other hand, is perfect for getting to know someone whom you don't know well--with no expectations on either part.
* Big-event dates tend to make us nervous and uncomfortable, especially if we feel out of our element, while the small date applies no pressure.
* You will know that your date is interested in you, not just in what you can provide.
* Being unable to spring for expensive theatre tickets and a gourmet meal means that you will have to exercise some creativity, which will make you a far more fun date.
One word of advice: Be honest about your finances up front; tell your potential date that you are really interested in dating, but that in your current circumstances, your dates need to be modest in scope.
So what are some ideas for inexpensive dating?
* Picnics (Trust me: Everyone loves picnics!). Find some unusual or out-of-the-way parks for your picnic, perhaps one of those tiny city parks, where you can feed crumbs to the pigeons. And don't think that you need to be limited by the weather for your picnic. In the winter, consider the living room floor for your take-out pasta (or perhaps your specialty is a great pasta?). Put in some Andrea Bocelli CDs, and you have an evening in Italy. Try a drive in the country during the rain; take a thermos of tomato soup and a loaf of French bread to eat in the car while overlooking great scenery. You get the idea.
* Concerts in the park. Many cities offer free summertime concerts outdoors. Take a thermos of coffee and some decadent brownies to munch on.
* Find out what your date's favorite classic movies are and rent several of them; then enjoy an afternoon of movies with cheese and crackers and apples--and lots of great conversation.
* Explore an ethnic area of your city together, absorbing the culture, browsing unique, funky little shops; get a bite to eat from a street vendor.
* Spend a day at a museum--check the internet for unusual choices.
* Are you both baseball fans? Football? Whatever, make a date to watch a game on TV. Peanuts and beer, anyone?
* Do something active together: Go rollerblading or bicycling. Play volleyball. Take the dog to the park and play Frisbee. Limited only by your mutual interests.
Of course, this list is only the beginning; once you recognize that expensive dates are not necessary, you will begin to come up with great ideas of your own. And the burden of coming up with ideas need not be yours alone; get your date in on the decision-making; a worthwhile date will enter into the spirit of creating fun and inexpensive dates--together.
For further suggestions, I recommend the following books:
* Cheap Dates: Fun, Creative, and Romantic Dates That Won't Break Your Budget by Steven C. Smith
* 2002 Things to Do on a Date: From Fun, Sometimes Silly, Romantic, to the Unique by Cyndi Haynes
* 52 Great Cheap Dates (52 Deck Series) by Susan Synarski
* Romantic Antics: Creative Ideas for Successful First Dates, Adventurous Saturday Nights, and Playful Long Weekends by Joy Decker
* Inexpensive Romantic Ideas For The Average Guy : A Guys New Little Black Book by J. B. Parker
* Date Ideas: Fun Things To Do For Couples by Alan Detwiler
Enjoy dating, even when your finances pinch!
About the Author
Sandra Rohr, M.A. is a certified Life Purpose Coach and relationship coach, who specializes in helping singles connect with their life partners and in helping couples establish and maintain strong relationships.
Listen to Sandy's free workshop on How to Be Irresistibly Attractive to the Opposite Sex at www.YourPersonalLoveCoach.com.
Email: Sandy@YourPersonalLoveCoach.com. 714.774.8540.
